Old Man

"Old man, please listen to my tale
   for someone needs to hear
The store of a girl with lies so dark
    and oh so many fears

Old man this is important
    not just to me but to you
I know you don't understand
    but trust me you will soon

You is started with broken homes
    which leads to single lives
And judges and courts and child support
    well, you knows as well as I

The woman, she had a temper
    and her fists and words did fly
But she did her best with what she had
   Boy did she try

To fill the shoes that were much to big
    and her feet were much too small
Her frustration needed venting
    call me the punching wall"

"Well little girl where was your dad"
     he tenderly said to me
"Well old man, I couldn't tell you,
    but maybe you could tell me."

A puzzled look did grace his face
    his features stiff and tall
So finally I asked the man
    "do you recognize this at all"I

And I held out a picture of a babe
    fresh from her mothers womb
And a sign saying "Dead daddy,
    please come home from war soon"

"The war has messed me up dear child,
     for I am not your dad ."
I smiled as I said to him,
   "I know sir, I understand.

But you can't blame this on the war
   for we did meet again
Because I used to visit
   until you left me at age ten

A knowing look graced his face
    as he remembered me
"Dear child I am sorry,
      I should have remembered thee"

"Oh it's okay old man," I say
     "I just wanted you to know"
I have a husband now you see,
     and a family of my own

My husband, he adores the kids,
    of which there are two
A little boy and girl, 7 and 9
    neither of which know of you

One day I'll tell them of a man
    who had more important things to do
And then I'll point to my husband and say
   ' I didn't have a daddy like you'

And no amount of words
   will change what is past
I do not seek apologies
   I only needed to ask

If when you go to bed at night,
   you ever think of me
Do you ever think what you've lost
   or did you just believe

That we were better off alone
    and that I'd be alright
Or were you just to busy
    to think of me at night

Did you ever wonder
   If my eyes were brown or blue
Did  ever wonder
   If I looked like you

"But little girl you didn't ask
    any of those today
I can answer all sufficiently
   and help you find your way."

"Old many I didn't need to ask
     to get the answers that I seek
For when you did not recognize
   your smile or your cheeks

I knew that you were fine without me
     and your reasons for being gone
Were that you were much to busy
     to bring a kid a long

And I know that don't miss me
    for when my husband's away
He drops down to his knees at the door
   and hugs those kids all day

You did no such thing right here
   and now I know the truth
You were much to selfish
   Who would need a dad like you

But before I leave, you should know
   that I was never okay.
I always blamed myself
   for why you didn't stay

But thank you for the answers
   for now I can sleep at night
Knowing it wasn't me, but you
   that was too weak to fight

I know now it wasn't me,
   that pushed your love away
You had no love to give
   so I'm glad you didn't stay

So I hope that you are happy
   and I hope the world is kind
For I am finally better
   all is settled in my mind.